Justice Served!

You think you're cute shit, don't you? Don't think we don't know the plotting and scheming that goes on in-between that bulbous head of yours - I'm on to you, you smug son of a bitch.

And what's with the pouty face? You think you've got big problems or something? MY WI-FI CONNECTION JUST WENT DOWN TO 3 BARS, ASSHOLE.

Not that corner, dummy

There aren't many things that completely piss me off, but i'm done dealing with shit from jerkoffs like this.

It's one thing to get scared because you likely pooped on something important, it's another thing to completely block the use of perfectly functioning power outlets.

The ironing will have to wait until you're taught where to feel sorry for yourself.

Nailed it!

Honestly, are you so incompetent that you cannot even take a sip of water without looking like a complete fob? You're a GD cat for ****-sakes. A bountiful watering hole was even provided for you - all you had to do was gracefully hydrate yourself and you couldn't even do that. 

If you were looking to die a virgin -- NAILED IT. 

Oh look, nap time... again

Oh, I'm sorry - is 15 hours of sleep a day not enough for you? You can't even sleep right - look at you! You probably don't even know who was behind the Watergate scandal. Maybe you'd know a bit more if you got up and did something with your life. 

If I found you on my couch like that, you'd wake up swimming with the fishes.

It's Someone's Birthday!

LOLOL!?! Great job stretching out the neck hole, fat neck. I also couldn't help but notice that you have more candles than friends -- can't say I'm surprised though; turtleneck with horizontal strips?? What is this, circa 1960? 

Hope you wished for some friends...

This kitten seems harmless enough

To the untrained eye you might think that this kitten is doing nothing but finding little nooks to stick its fat head in - but don't be fooled! This little guy is blocking the center console; the epicenter of every motor vehicle, impeded your view of the time and local radio stations. This kitten doesn't give two shits about you or your safety. 

Garbage bin > Kitten